Epic Failure: TheLadders resume service

I just had to write about this. It was absolutely hilarious. TheLadders have been pimping their resume-writing service and "evaluated" mine for free. I was skeptical, but thought "it's free, let's see what they have to say".

First, they warn they are blunt, some people get mad about their bluntness, etc. I'm already laughing at this point. They also said "I am concerned that your resume doesn’t effectively communicate your value as a senior-level candidate - the resume lacks the ability to capture an employer and make him/her say, “I must have this person in for an interview”."

Wow. What a load. After reading my resume, anyone with a BRAIN can see that I am a senior-level candidate. I am really laughing at this point. 

Continuing:

" By relying on worn out resume clichés like "Solutions-oriented," “Hands-on experience” and "Outstanding leadership abilities," you're lumping yourself in with scores of other candidates. It’s not that these are bad attributes, but the fact of the matter is that's the kind of language 9 out of 10 people will use. That's also why only 1 out of 10 will get the interview."

Even funnier. WTH are you supposed to say in place of those statements without "candy-coating"?  9 out of 10 don't get an interview because the hiring company is either 1:) Fishing or 2.) Posting the job as a "formality" because the job will be filled by their cousin or brother-in-law next week. What a joke. That one person may get an interview if the company feels they may get them at a large discount.

Also:

"you have some very impressive Technical skills. I would recommend that you move this section to the back of your resume. Remember, first person who sees your resume will be a junior reviewer - not your future bosses so don’t expect them to understand the significant of these skills."

This is hilarious. Put all of my TECHNICAL skills at the back of the resume. That's a good way to get your resume tossed into the shredder. No good recruiter will sit there and wade through a page or two of "FLUFF" to get to the meat & potatoes. I always believe you should show your chops first for foremost. Save them the time & frustration.

Overall, this whole thing is a JOKE in an attempt to swindle me out of $695.